New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
