I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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