Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
