i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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