And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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