Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
