How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
