I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
