I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
