I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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