today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize