just come out here and I will go home with you...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
