Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
