Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
