Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
