at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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