yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
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i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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