i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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