What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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