somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
