So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
