Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
