dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
These tits shall not be calmed
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
