So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
