Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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