remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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