I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
