You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
