Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
