i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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