there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
