textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
