I just threw up on my dentist
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
