The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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