He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Don't tell me you're on acid again
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
