Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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