To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
