I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
