Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
