I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
