Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
