you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
