If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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