i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
