question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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