On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
