i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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