Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
