Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
