yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
