something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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