hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
