I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
