its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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