I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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