u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
