i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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