Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.