Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

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(410): View more from Maryland

when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink

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(248): View more from Michigan

It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"

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(801): View more from Utah

Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5

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(907): View more from Alaska

Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.

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(315): View more from New York

Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?

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