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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?

  (1-705): View more from Ontario

  That would be awkward if he commented on your status

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• (979): View more from Texas

  i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.

  (903): View more from Texas

  wow. i have no words.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  the only muscles i have these days is kegels

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Sex is always the answer.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.

  Fav 1 231 167

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