I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?