I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?