Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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