We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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