no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
