They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
